Thank You ♥

Thank you,

For being the one person who encouraged me to chase after my faith.
For being the light in the darkness of my life.
For putting up with me and my constant complaints.

For noticing when things weren't okay.
For your hugs. I wouldn't be here without them.
For never giving up on me, even when I gave up on myself.

For proving to me that there are people out there who want to make a difference.
For saying hi to me - a stranger. You changed my life forever.
For asking how I'm doing.

For taking time for me, even when you're busy.
For loving me, when I didn't think anyone could.
For forgiving me, even for my worst mistakes.

For not judging me.
For the joy you bring to my life.
For teaching me that tough times don't last, and tough people do.

For giving me opportunities.
For recognizing my strengths.
For everything you do for me.

For being hilarious.
For being my best friend no matter what.
For placing your trust in me.

For showing me right from wrong.
For making me a stronger person.
For understanding when no one else cared to.

For being straight up with me.
For the time you spend with me - I enjoy every minute of it.
For dying for me - a sinner.

For being you.
For being truthful.
For being honest.

For being my youth pastor.
For respecting me.
For everything.

Thank you for being my saviour.

Thank you for saving my life.

Bri and Casey's Movie Hit List

1. The Bucket List
2. Underdog
3. Saw I
4. Saw II
5. Saw III
6. Saw IV
7. Saw V
8. Saw VI
9. Iron Man - watched!
10. Couples Retreat
11. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
12. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
13. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
14. Death Race
15. Speed - watched!
16. Valentines Day
17. How to Train Your Dragon
18. Dear John - Watched!
19. Never Back Down
20. Alice in Wonderland
21. Clash of the Titans
22. Finding Nemo
23. Forrest Gump
24. Harry Potter and the Philospher's stone - watched!
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - watched!
26. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
27. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
28. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
29. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
30. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (when it comes out)
31. Gamer
32. Smokin Aces
33. Smokin Aces 2
34. Deception
35. 300
36. 10 000 B.C.
37. Million Dollar Baby
38. Iron Man 2 - watched!
39. Dispicable Me
40. Shindler's List
41. Step Up 3D

Accustomed

The only thing worse than you being angry with me,
is you being disappointed in me.

And I'm getting used to it.






I'm scared.

Make Cupcakes, Not Horcruxes

For Emily Johnston, whom I lave.

Emily, you've been bothering to write a blog about you for a while now, and I think it's finally time for me to post such a blog. You're welcome.

I want to start by telling you that I love you. You mean a lot to me, and I appreciate our friendship a lot more than you realize. You don't judge me, which is something I really need to thank you for, especially because lately I've really started to notice who my true friends are. We've shared so many laughs, although sometimes I laughed while you cried.. and you laughed while i cried.. like when me and the rest of your guests at your birthday party played that prank on you and broke the vase and your dad said it was a wedding gift from your dead grandma? Hilarious. Sorry though, :) You can't forget all those times I cried in the cafeteria because of jokes you and Justan and everyone else said though..

Anywho, you're fun to be around, and we never run out of things to talk about, or crazy things to do, or fun ways to embarrase ourselves and our friends. I love the fact that you love Harry Potter just as much as I do, because when I relate something to Harry Potter, you're the only person that ever gets it. I also like that you don't condemn me for playing pokemon. :)

I can't wait until the new Harry Potter movie comes out because
a.) You're going with me
b.) I'm dressing up.. which means
c.) I get to embarrase the crap out of you and you can't do anything about it.

I'd also like to tell you that you're pretty much the peanut butter to my jelly, and the fact that you love Hedley as much as I do makes me love you even more. I swear you're the sister God meant to give me. :)

At this time I'd also like to tell you that I promised myself I wouldn't die before I went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, so we're going together, as it's quite mandatory. We'll buy butterbeer and Hogwarts uniforms in griffindor colours and we'll select our wands, which will amazing. And then .. we're just going to stay there forever and live there for the rest of our lives, as magicians.


So.. here's your blog Em, sorry it's not epic and long, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Love you <3

Better Off Without You

You promised we'd always stay friends.
I'm glad we didn't.

If we had, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I'd be something horrible. Unbearable.

What we've gone through has made me who I am, and although even now you haunt my thoughts, I wouldn't change anything, for fear of losing my identity.

you hurt me, badly, and you don't even care. Maybe you don't really how badly you scarred me.. maybe you don't realize how much my heart bled on your behalf.

It was always about you, from the very beginning. I was too blinded by what I thought was love to even realize how wrong you were for me. You were the one person who made me feel good about myself, like my life was worth living. But things are different now, and I realize that love had never been a part of our relationship.

I won't lie. I enjoyed spending a lot of my time with you. I'll admit that while I write this, I was at fault too, and I made my fair share of mistakes. But I'm tired of holding these feelings in. They need to leave.

You made me scared. Scared to even be touched by a friend. Hugs, handshakes, everything was neglected by me after what we went through. I was terrified that I would get hurt by others the ways you hurt me, so I shut myself away from everyone. I just wanted to be left alone. I hate that you did that to me.

I hate the fact that our relationship became nothing more than fancy egos and fights. I wish things could have turned out better, I wish that both of us didn't have to go through so much pain. But then, if we hadn't I might still be with you. That would kill my soul.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened between us, and I wonder if you think about it too. It hurts to think about us. I screwed up so many times and cut myself so deeply that I honestly can't see these wounds ever healing. You hurt me so badly. I still feel the same pain today that I felt nearly six months ago. I put my life in your hands. I trusted you. I committed my time and my heart to you. I respected you SO MUCH. And you threw it all back at my feet and kicked me to the curb.

The anger that I feel for you would almost be unbearable. But after you left my life, it allowed me to let Jesus in, and that's where things start to change. You kicked me to the curb, and Jesus sat there with me while I cried. He bandaged my wounds as best He could, He held me while I wept, He loved me the same all the while. He comforted me. He gave me everything you couldn't. And I realized that the void in my heart that I wanted to desperately to fill couldn't be filled by you. Jesus had to fill it. And he did.

If it weren't for Him, I'd feel a lot more pain, shame, and guilt than I do now. Part of me thinks it's my own stubborness that won't let all these emotions go. Another part of me thinks I can't let them go. What if letting them go means letting my guard down? What if letting them go means that I let go of part of myself?

I know you won't read this, and if you do then maybe you'll realize just how badly you stung my heart. Even now, while I lay here, contemplating on our past, my eyes begin to water. I can't believe how selfish you were, and how selfish, in turn, I became. You turned me into all the things I wasn't. You turned me away from my friends, who you never respected. You turned me away from my family, who I now realize I needed to get closer to, not be pulled farther away. You got me into so much trouble in my life. The people I loved look down upon me. That hurt. Bad.

I pray for you. I pray that maybe you can see past your own wants and see what you need. I wish you could grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. You don't need ridiculous amounts of money to be happy, nor do you need fancy cars and sex, nice clothes and one-night-stands. You need God. You need Jesus. I hope you find Him.

Of all the promises you broke, I'm glad you fell through on your promise to stay friends. I realize now that I don't need you in my life at all. I have everything I could ever ask for. I have amazing friends who love me for me, even when I'm down or wrong. I have an amazing pastor and amazing mentors who help me through everything. I have an amazing boyfriend who means the world to me, who I love so much. I have a better relationship with my parents than I've had in a long time. I'm happy, and I wonder if you can say the same thing.

You promised we'd always stay friends.
I'm glad we didn't.

Devotion ♥

A poem I wrote in English class last semester...


I would walk the entire surface of this beautiful earth, if only to show you that I will always go the extra mile for you.
I would spend an eternity in darkness, never to see light again, because the only light I need is the light you represent in my life.
I would stand on the edge of a deadly cliff, only to shout my praises to you for the entire world to hear.
I would plunge into the deepest of water, where sea creatures darkly dwell, if only you would realize that there is no greater fear in my life than the fear of being without you.
I would place myself in the midst of a deadly, cold snowstorm, if only to show you that the warmth that dwells inside my heart because of you would keep me warm in the coldest of times.
I would throw myself in the face of death or injury; I would take a bullet for you, because your well-being means so much more to me than my own.
I would expose myself to the most harmful of diseases, because I know deep in my heart that the only medicine I need is the medicine of friendship and love, which you provide to me.
I would never again speak a single word, only to express my true devotion to you.
I would spend my life as a failure, as long as it meant success for you.
I would give away all of my money and live as a poor soul, because wealth is not found in money, it is found in your love, and in that wealth I am rich.
I would throw myself out of a plane at the highest of heights and watch the world grow perilously closer and closer, as a symbol that the parachute of your friendship would save me before I crashed to the ground.
I would watch my world come crumbling down before my eyes, only to smile at the presence of our relationship, because I know that the walls of that relationship would stand eternally.

You see, without you, I would have no purpose; my life would have no meaning.
Without you my life would not be the same; it wouldn’t be life at all.
Without you the rain falls, the seasons change, the grass grows.
Without you the breeze warms, the tides change, the river flows.
Without you the oceans crash, the sun shines, the light glows.
But I truly would die without your love, without your presence, without you.
Without my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Your love for me is eternal and unconditional. I make mistakes, I fall down, I disgrace your name, I lose my way, I am weak, I am hopeless, I am merely a human being. Yet when filled with your grace and love, I am forgiven for my mistakes and I learn from my mistakes. You pick me up when I fall and you show me how to pick myself up. You pardon my wrongs. You show me the way and teach me how to find it. You make me strong and show me how to stay strong, even when times get tough. You give me hope, and you help me give hope to others. In your eyes, I am your child, your lamb.

In my eyes, you are my God.